We’ve made the five week mark. It’s also the last week with my postpartum doula. I’m freaked! The nights with baby are so unpredictable that they cause so much anxiety for me! Either baby won’t go to sleep at all and I’m exhausted trying to get him down without him waking up as soon as my hands are removed from him. Or he’s waking up so frequently that I’m awake before I know it. I’m always tired when I’m on my own with the baby. I get no sleep the majority of the time. The only time I get any sleep is when I have the doula. Now that this is ending I’m freaking out a bit. My little guy sleeps for one long stretch at the early part of the night but there’s a problem when he sleeps this stretch early in the evening. He’ll give us maybe three hour straight then. Then he’s up every hour to an hour in a half. That gives me little sleep time especially if it takes a few times for me to get him settled in his bassinet. I’m not sure if I can do this on my own. Last night, after trying to get this little one down again for almost two hours, I got my husband to take over. He was up with the baby for 4.5 hours. I felt awful since I never usually get him for help and it was a work night. I felt guilty even though I shouldn’t. Plus, I pulled my neck yesterday and I can’t move it well. So being in pain and possibly getting sick again made last night even worse. I’m not cut out for infancy again. Not sure how I got through it last time. I know I keep saying that. It’s true! I’m hoping that the magic number 6 (weeks) still brings us more sleep as it did with DD. She stated sleeping three to four hours at a time then. Keep your fingers crossed! It doesn’t help that my pediatrician thinks I’m suffering from postpartum anxiety. Plus she wants me to find different ways of calming down baby rather than pacifying him with nursing and she doesn’t want me sleeping in his room and she wants me to let him cry a bit before going to him. I feel like I’m still not doing the right thing with my little guy even though it’s the second baby I’ve had!
Now for good news, the baby started cooing and smiling during week 4!! It’s adorable and makes things worthwhile.
